BEATING DEPRESSION
Tears rolled down my eyes, as I slid down the wall, thoughts echo through my frail mind.
“do I deserve this?”
"Why did it have to be me?”
“why can't I do things right?”
More tears fell, I felt incompetent and useless, Maybe I did deserve this. Maybe...just maybe
I took my blade, which had been safely tucked into my Jean pocket, I rolled on my white sleeve, and made a deep long cut.
Seeing blood had never been so appealing so relaxing, maybe it was the fact, that losing it — Would finally rid me of the pain of this world.
A tear slipped my eyes.
For people who don't know, or who haven't guessed, I suffer from severe depression. In my world, being depressed is seen as you looking for attention or watching too many movies.
In my world, it's easier for parents to notice your shortcomings and mistakes, than your dire need to leave this world.
In my world, you being odd equals you being an outcast, you being a square equals you being the wrong one, in my world, distinction and uniqueness happen to be a flaw.
In my world, when you say you are depressed people reply to you with.
"others have it worse"
How was that supposed to help me?
That's why I'm here,
I'm fed up, with constantly explaining myself, to people who humor rumors,
I am fed up, with constantly running miles for people who would never take steps for me
I am fed up, with pleasing people, who never appreciate me.
I am fed up with being misunderstood, shadowed, and continually criticized.
I made the second cut, and entered the bathtub, with my hand on each side, my mind got swallowed in my heap of thoughts.
Blood dropped, they say when you are about to die, your life flashes before your eyes, but I didn't see a thing maybe, because I spent my life trying to please the wrong people, I wasted my time trying to fit the wrong group, I killed my innocence while trying to save the wrong souls.
But deep down, deep down, I wanted someone to burst through that door, to tell me I was good enough, to tell me that I did not deserve the life I lived, to tell me it was okay to be a square amid circles, to remind me that life would never be the same without me.
But no. No one came
Slowly but surely, it dawned on me, I would die here, the same way I lived, in the company of the thoughts that haunted me. I closed my eyes, fear, and pain on every side
“Mom!” I heard a voice yell. For some reason, I couldn't feel pain.
I looked at it was my sister, she was distraught, and she held my- my body?
Oh yes, I was dead.
She cried and wailed, she begged for me to wake up, she told me she loved me, she told me not to leave her.
The irony, while I was alive, I wanted to hear these things, to feel loved., and now when I'm dead, they sing odes?
My parents ran in, they cried and wailed...
If only I knew, if only.
But I couldn't read their minds.
Just like they could never mine
So, please.
Tell mother, I love her, tell that I'm sorry wasn't strong enough
Tell my sister I tried my best I tried to fit in, but I guess that just wasn't me
Tell my father I admire him, but I'm not his strong princess, tell him I'm sorry.
For I let depression beat me at my own game.
END
Now, listen carefully
3 in 5 children or teenagers suffer from depression, 50 percent from abuse, 25 percent bullying and 25 percent from inferiority complexes.
Watch what you say to whom ever you see.
Your one word enough to kill someone.
Never tell a depressed person " others have it worse"
It cause self hate. It doesn't solve a thing
Never tell a depressed person
"move on”
Those two words are harder than finding a needle in a hay bag..
And to any depressed person out there.
Your life is too precious, for you to sell it to depression
Your future is too bright, for you to turn it off on impulse.
If you feel no one loves you I DO.
I LOVE YOU
I CARE.
My dm will always be open.
Your skin is not paper, darling please don't cut it.
Depression's only strength is our ignorance.
Love and awareness is it's weakness.
Share this.
Save someone's life today, my contact is below is you need anything❤
Join my mental health support system group
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