PERFECTIONISM IS KILLING YOU

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      As I gradually became an adult I realized that being a melancholic was no excuse to allow my perfectionism trait to rule me. The biggest problems youths and young adults face is that they continuously make plans and before they can even act those plans out — they arrive at outcomes

       When those “outcomes” differ from reality they become crushed. Broken and they start to fall apart and lose interest.

       We crave for the perfect life so much — even in the little things — the perfect video, the perfect photo, the perfect setting - the perfect plan — Well let's face it.

        Everything is as perfect as it is permanent as nothing is permanent. Not even the sun. When it’s night time it goes down.

         If you keep expecting everything to fall in place every single time then you will keep on hurting yourself in so many ways. You are enough and that is good enough.

          You need to find the balance. Life isn’t about being perfect, it is about learning to accept your imperfection and becoming a better person — step by step 

          All this perfectionism stuff won’t matter when death knocks at the door. All these people who keep asking you and demanding you become the perfect barbie may not even attend the funeral on that day. 

    What is the use of a perfect illusion that shakes at the slightest fail or loss? Is it not better to be a poor man at peace than a rich man that is dangling at the edge of poverty?

      Is it not better to be confident in being good enough than having low self-esteem even with perfectionism 

    Perfectionism is not a bad thing. Except when it becomes an obsession and you can’t differentiate your wins from losses because the wins are too small and insignificant to fit into your castles of perfection 
Here are a few ways I have dealt with perfectionism over the years.
Firstly, I lowered my expectations and set my priorities straight. By lowering your expectations you are not lowering your standards. You are maintaining a balance between what you can achieve with ease and what is beyond your reach — yet you crave for. Truth is, when you learn to value what you have, the things you crave for become easier to achieve 

I had to put my piece of mind over everything. It was okay to have goals. It was okay to dream big. It was okay to test my limits and leave my comfort done. What was not okay was putting my peace of mind on the line so anxiety and depression could stomp on it, simply because I wasn't feeling “Good enough”

I learned to take things one step at a time. Certain things could wait. If the foundation of a house is not built right, no matter how beautiful you make it out to be — at the smallest inconvenience it will crumble down. In the same way, no matter how may goals you achieve, if you haven't found the ‘perfection’ you crave in them —it feels like nothing. So I took one thing at a time, set small goals and enjoyed the small wins. That built my confidence for bigger ones.

Remember the goal is not to be perfect. The goal is to be enough yourself and Enough is good enough